Headlights (Another Song for 2020)

Breakfast sound effects included at no extra charge.

“Try the peach pie, hon; it’s to die for.”

Headlights shine on down the road
Headlights shine on down the road
Headlights shine on down the road, gotta keep moving so I don’t get towed
Headlights shine on down the road

Big wheels rolling through the night
Big wheels rolling through the night
Big wheels rolling through the night, gotta keep moving ’cause it’s almost light
Big wheels rolling through the night

Wipers scraping through the rain
Wipers scraping through the rain
Wipers scraping through the rain, gotta keep moving to make that train
Wipers scraping through the rain

Radio scratching out a song
Radio scratching out a song
Radio scratching out a song, gotta keep moving while the signal’s strong
Radio scratching out a song

Headlights shine on down the road
Headlights shine on down the road
Headlights shine on down the road, gotta keep moving get what I’m owed
Headlights shine on down the road


Dry Heat

at least it’s a dry heat

crematoriums, or would it be crematoria?
they use dry heat

so does the oven in the kitchen
unless you’re using bain marie
which is French for boiled with wet air
a common cause of insanity and death in east Texas

fire
fire is as dry as heat gets
but we don’t want first responders to say “at least it’s a dry fire”
at least it’s a dry fire

that frying pan you left on the stove top after you rinsed it
when you remembered it and took it off the burner and you forgot how long it had been on so you didn’t use a potholder
that’s a dry heat

in Seattle
or San Francisco
or Milwaukee
they don’t say, when it rains, “at least it’s a cool wet”
it doesn’t help
thank you
thank you very much for reminding me that instead of being cold and wet, I could be hot and wet
because knowing things could be worse always makes the pain go away
worse things happen at sea
possibly to children starving in China
I don’t know
but I still won’t eat liver
so don’t tell me they’re hungry
it doesn’t help

temperatures should have 2 digits
I’m flexible
the first digit can be anywhere from 2 to 7
and the second digit can be anything you like
any number at all
I’m flexible

but when the temperature has 3 digits
no matter what they are
I know it’s a dry heat
I’ve used an oven
and a frying pan
and I’ve been to Seattle
and San Francisco
and even Milwaukee
not China
not yet
and nobody says “at least it’s a cool wet”
nobody says that
anywhere
and there’s a reason for it
it doesn’t make sense
even to those hungry Chinese children