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Limited Time Offer: Pre-Order A Long Hard Look and Read the Unedited Version Right Now

I'll be posting a new chapter of A Long Hard Look on the blog every day until it's all online. If you'd like to continue reading the story absolutely free, that's super. If you'd prefer not to wait, here's how it works: A Long Hard Look
  1. Pre-order the book for $10. You'll get the print and digital versions, shipped anywhere in the US, when they're finished. (Ask me about international shipping cost.)
  2. I'll email you the unedited draft of the entire book right away. It won't be polished and pretty, but you'll get the whole story, just as it will appear here on the site.
Once the final chapter goes live here on my site, this special price ends, and the first draft will no longer be offered.

Some of us identify very personally with the books we read. I know I do.

When I read Edgar Rice Burroughs, I'm not watching Tarzan, I am Tarzan.

Philip Marlowe? Yeah, that's me. (Okay, anyone from Chandler. Anyone.)

Pride and Prejudice? Transgender issues notwithstanding, I'm totally inside Lizzie's head the whole time.

Don't you wish you could really be in your favorite classic novel?

Thanks to the miracle of technology and my genius (work with me here) you can!

One Page Classics—Starring You!

$5

A thousand word version of your favorite classic novel, starring you!

Include friends and loved ones, dream locations, inside jokes, or plot twists. Let's make it uniquely you.

1-Page Classic—$5

For five tiny little dollars, I'll write a story just for you, using all the details you provide, in the style of your favorite classic author or book.

Imagine the look on Mr. Darcy's face when he sees you at the ball.

Fancy giving Friday some real work to do?

Show Sancho Panza that you really can beat that windmill.

Read a couple samples: Pried from Prejudice and The Big Sweep. Tell me what you think.

Details

Each story will be unique, especially if you provide some details about you and your fellow characters and other locations, hobbies, and interests. It will be approximately 999 words, but stories being what they are, I don't guarantee a word count, I guarantee a good story. Note: if you're looking for The Twilight of Parry Hotter or 50 Shades of Windows I'm not yer guy.

Let's Go!

$5

A thousand word version of your favorite classic novel, starring you!

Include friends and loved ones, dream locations, inside jokes, or plot twists. Let's make it uniquely you.

1-Page Classic—$5

Click the button and give me your details. The more the better. Within one calendar week you'll have a uniquely twisted shrink-to-fit classic full of sparkling wit and dark chocolate.

What more could you want?